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Author: Tin Pan
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Love and Suffering: Why does Love mean Suffering?

Love is a wonderful feeling. This is a state of effective mind binds two individuals together. Things around you seem to be rosy and beautiful when love happens. Your face glows with the mere mention of someone you love. Your heart beats faster as the time to meet your lover draws near. This is love when you want to be with the person you love forever. A famous poet has mentioned “Love is not an easy game…. It is pond of fire and the lovers should dive deep…….”

There are many things associated to the feeling of love that makes it a suffering. However, love is divine. It is not a suffering. This is just a perception of mind. Let us see what makes love and suffering go hand in hand.

When love happens between two individuals, there is a spark that exists. This spark attracts lovers to each other. Attraction makes it impossible for them to stay apart. Lovers start meeting often, calling each other regularly, sending text messages one after the other, spending time to get dressed and think about each other 24x7.

This is a stage of initial attraction. Here, lovers have only one aim in their life. They want to hear each other’s voice, meet each other and live with each other. Lovers literally start living for the next meeting. The stage lasts from 4-12 months depending on the intensity of passion among lovers. Once this phase is over, lovers try to get back to their normal routine.

This is not because they do not love each other anymore. This is just because one of the individuals has known a good lot about his/ her lover. The curiosity is over. There is a feeling of possessiveness and satisfaction in the relationship.

However, this is not easy for the other individual to digest. He/ she was in a habit to get calls daily, get text messages every 5 minutes, meeting every alternate day and hearing romantic statements from the lover. When this routine changes, life becomes hell. No amount of convincing that things are well, work for him/ her.

Once this phase in over, there comes a stage where lovers start taking each other for granted. They know that they possess each other, love and respect each other. They do not feeling the requirement to display their feelings to each other as they used to do earlier.

This is hard to digest for one of the lovers. This also gives birth to negative feelings such as jealous, hatred and insecurity. This is also the reason that some relationships are unable to survive for long.

Love does not mean suffering. It becomes suffering when lovers do not want to face the reality. The actual suffering starts when they take each other and the relationship for granted. You can make love the most beautiful thing that has happened to you. All you require doing is to introduce novelty and romance in your life from time to time.


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