When we were small, we used to fall asleep hearing our mother telling us fairy tales in which Prince Charming was going through fire and water for saving the chosen one, he took her on a white horse, they were getting married and lived happily ever after.
So, we started our love life having fairy tales expectations, but with a contemporary décor.
Freud would've said that it's normal, taking into consideration that the character is built during the early years.
Surprise! but, we all found out that things are not exactly like this…
Love does not always include romance or it does, but temporary!
This is the rule for most of the couples, nowadays.
According to a study, intense, romantic love last for about one year and a half, but not more than 3 years.
And if we go to the biggest legends form literature, we remember that Isolde gave Tristan a magic love potion which had effect for only 3 years.
The conclusion of this study was that, if, in this period, the partners don't create boundaries, despite romance, the relationship will fall apart.
Ok, but I'm afraid the idea of having a roommate to whom you are a very good fellow and have sex from time to time with the title "husband" is not so pleasing.
Many married women are complaining, with good reasons that the passionate love is over.
In addition, as if things aren't bad enough, some scientist thought to prove that love is just an addiction.
So, after applying brain-imaging technology to a group of volunteers looking at photos of their romantic partners.
When I first started looking at the properties of infatuation, they had some of the same elements of a cocaine high:
sleeplessness, loss of a sense of time, absolute focus on love to the detriment of all around you.
Sounds nihilistically, doesn't it?
On the other hand, there is a triangular theory of love.
The three components of love, according to the triangular theory, are an intimacy component, a passion component, and a decision/commitment component.
The amount of love one experiences depends on the absolute strength of these three components, and the type of love one experiences depends on their strengths relative to each other.
The optimistic part of this theory is that it doesn't kill so much from our romantic dreams.
So, no, it doesn't exist consuming, great love without romance.
And no, it is not impossible!
Moreover, it seems that there are also scientists who are fans of love and succeeded to prove that love doesn't have a cynical warranty between 18 months and 3 years.
Therefore, using the same technology of brain-imaging, the scientist from Stony Brook University, New York, they have discovered a small number of couples respond with as much passion after 20 years together as most people only do during the early throes of romance.
The findings go against the traditional view of romance -- that it drops off sharply in the first decade -- but we are sure it's real.
No, we don't have to forgot about romance when choosing our partner and no, we don't have to make compromises.
So, no, we DO NOT have to quit dreaming of security and romance at the same time and on long term!
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