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Author: Éulia Iliescu
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From woman to woman, man to man, mother to mother, so many kinds of relationships "mother-daughter" exist on earth. As much as society has changed, much of the character of this spectacular relationship remained intact - even if we are open-minded, even if we read all the psychology magazines, even if that sick respect that rather seemed with an insincere humility in front of parents-in-law was replaced by a respectful distance, without much emotional involvement.

But the thing with mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law do not end here; in fact do not start here. It begins with the great love between mother and son; it is said that the strong attraction between girls and dads, boys and mothers is explained by the essence of the "androgyne myth".

Mother is, in fact, the first female figure which completes the boy's whole; it gives him the sense of accomplishment for the first time, completely.

During lifetime, with the exceptions when the two do not agree or do not live together, the mother becomes a point of support and she takes care of him. The two, whatever happens binds tightly an umbilical cord …

Girlfriend, wife possibly, will start from a pessimistic premise: Freud wrote in one of his works, that every mother, willy-nilly, develops a real jealousy for the one that somehow comes to take her place.
They run for the same place, somewhere in the subconscious, although it seems a real aberration given that they cannot replace in any way. It's as if running for first prize, an engineer with a painter - not the same scale of assessment.

However, the mother will not be no more the one who will cook for him, do his laundry, who will protect him... she will not be half that makes him feel a whole, and hence all those conflicts improvised or dislikes.

In case the quality of your life is affected by the direct involvement of mother-in-law is not just healthy and even unacceptable.

Usually, the sick relationship emerges between the mother who raised alone his boy (without a male figure present continuously), a mother who is unhappy with her husband and she projects a fraction of what she would've wanted to have from the relationship with her husband in the relationship with her son, the mother who is more of a friend than of a parent. And those who also have girls and they wanted a lot of girls usually are categorized as "positive".

If we talk about the "Oedipus complex" the landscape would become darker. In the play, Oedipus the King, Oedipus kills his father and marries his mother committing incest.

Based on the works of Sophocles, but also from a personal analysis, Sigmund Freud developed the phrase "oedipal complex": between 3 and 6 years, children live deep feelings of love towards one parent and end up and wish him only for him, harboring negative feelings towards the other parent.

Such a passion, boys born for the mother, while they "hate" fathers. Girls do the same, but in reverse. Unconsciously, Freud finds a sexual explanation.

Oedipal type of feelings resurfaces also in adolescence.

After solving the Oedipus complex (in most cases), it depicts the "superego" or consciousness.
In unfortunate cases where this complex doesn't get solved on the inside, the child will remain forever linked abnormal to one parent may and he will manifest psychological problems … 

Only that, beyond classification, as daughter-in-law you must learn to understand the love between boy and mother, to take the best from your mother-in-law, to observe, but also to place them precisely demarcated to her new status.

Moreover, it would be better if neither one nor the other would not take so seriously and would treat the relationship with more detachment.
There are so many other things worth wasting your energy, such as children and grandchildren, to whom the grandmother is an imposing figure.

Often, two very important women do not understand that behind their relationship there stands a complicated psychological guiding their steps - if they assumed it, it would be likely for them to receive that wisdom necessary for living in the "family" spirit.


- Spare the Rod: Let the Child Develop

- Playing Well Is Good: Help Your Child

- Help Your Child Get Along With Siblings Easily

- Successful Parenting: What To Focus On?


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